My body has a “numb mode.” I can shut-off all emotion. Going numb is how I’ve handled car accidents, divorces, betrayals, disappointments and loss. Why do I cope this way? I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems. So I keep telling myself, I can handle it. However, instead of dealing with these situations, I lock the door on the issue. Right now, the Lord is waiting patiently for me to let him into these locked rooms. Ones that I have kept tightly shut for years.
How do you cope with things? We all have our ways of “Keeping Calm and Carrying On.” Think back to a hard time in your life. How did you get through it? Did you lock God out?
Here are some suggestions on dealing:
Write it out – Some things hurt too much. Take your pen and write the words you can’t say. Be honest with God “I think this person’s intentions were…” “Lord why are you testing me in this way?” “ How can you love us, and hurt us?” Have you ever not been able to say something to a person, but can write a note or FB message? Same thing with prayer. No matter which form you take, He answers in the same way.
Tell someone – First take it to God, then have someone else help you sort out your feelings. It is not a badge of honor that you don’t need any help. Dealing with something well, does not mean doing it alone. If you aren’t sharing what you are going through, the enemy will manipulate you. It puts him in a position to steal your hope.
Crying is not weakness – Cry it out. Jesus did. God helps those who are weak. The Lord gave us tears to help us express emotions that have no words. By refusing to cry you are hardening a part of yourself that the Lord installed in us speicfically for coping. When Joesph was mourning the death of his father he and the rest of the country took seventy days to do it! Resist the urge to skip the tears, and fast forward to, “I’m fine.”
All of us have been some tough times. To build community we need to share our struggles, and take time to help others with theirs. You have a choice to either carry past hurts your whole life leaving you bitter, and broken or you can give Jesus the keys to our locked rooms. Don’t let these things become a breeding ground for insecurity, and distrust. Time can not heal all things, but God will if we let him in.