*I want it to be noted that I wrote this post before I got engaged. Oh yeah I’m engaged!*
Recently I’ve started reading A Year with C.S. Lewis the book has daily quotes from his classic literature. I love C.S. Lewis. Don’t you? His work is so great at capturing small parts of the wonder that is our God. I may or may not flipped ahead in the book to find these words on marriage 🙂 This quote is from his book The Screwtape Letters which chronicles a hypothetical correspondence between two demons trying to deter a man from knowing Christ. The two evil ones correspond about Christ as the enemy and the lies they tell humans. Granted this book is fiction, but the characters ideas of what we seek in marriage ring true. Here is the letter:
“In other words, the humans are to be encouraged to regard as the basis for marriage a highly-coloured and distorted version of something the Enemy really promises as its result. Two advantages follow. In the first place, humans who have not the gift of continence can be deterred from seeking marriage as a solution because they do not find themselves ‘in love’, and, thanks to us, the idea of marrying with any other motive seems to them low and cynical. Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion. (Don’t neglect to make your man think the marriage service very offensive.) In the second place any sexual infatuation whatever, so long as it intends marriage, will be regarded as ‘love’, and ‘love’ will be held to excuse a man from all the guilt, and to protect him from all the consequences, of marrying a heathen, a fool, or a wanton.”
How interesting. Could it be true? Have we all bought the lie that we should decide how to spend our lives by “the storm of emotion” called love and nothing else? Jeremiah 17 says: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick, who can understand it?” Although we can’t understand our own hearts this Tuesday we will celebrate them. We will spend the whole day worshiping an emotion. We don’t celebrate happiness, silliness, sadness or anger. We have chosen love to lift above all others feelings. Anything else we feel we acknowledge as something that will pass with time, but love for some reason we believe will never change. Our divorce rate alone shows this idea doesn’t work, but still we believe it. Why?
Now I’m not trying to rain on your heart parade, but I am asking you to think of what that lowly character wrote in his letter: “Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion” Loyalty is more than when I feel like it, partners are more than lovers, chasity more trusting than friends with benefits and children such a blessing. Sometimes I think we sell ourselves short. I think of all the wasted days I spent looking for love instead of living the life God has given me. In relationships we shoot for butterflies and miss everything else that marriage is suppose to bring responsibility, maturity, selflessness, humility and holiness. Makes you wonder if we even need love to love. Have a great weekend friends. -b